Sand between my toes!

27 November 2009

When is flirting not really flirting......

I used to enjoy flirting, I thought I knew what I was doing.  I have even been told, by girlfriends that I was good at it.  I liked fluttering my eyelashes, yes I did.  Giving the cheeky sideways glance.  Being a bit too touchy feely.  Since I have been single it would appear that any contact with a male, that is even the odd hello or smile is construed as flirting.  Even if I am the innocent party and the flirtee (as in the person with whom I am supposed to be flirting with) is actually the flirter! Now I know that there are many of you who will be empathising with this.  I have a particularly flirty friend, who I have to say with her gorgeous figure, sparkling personality and amazing laugh, will have broken many hearts and had to extinguish the flames of those who beat a path to her door, has got herself into a spot of misconstrued bother because people can't tell the difference between flirting and actual friendly banter.  You know who you are!  Sarah-Jane also loves to flirt and thinks she is particularly good at spotting this activity, let's see if you agree?  Although it has to be said that I would be a lot happier if she could just refine her criteria a bit, well a lot actually.

Sarah-Jane likes men and tends to always flirt (pot calling kettle black) with them, outrageously sometimes.  This obviously can create some scary moments for other people who do not understand the innocence of Sarah-Jane.  Some people also cannot get their heads around the fact that Sarah-Jane cannot see the consequences of actions and is not able to read peoples reaction to her flirting very well.  That is not to say that I would stop her from flirting, anymore than I would stop her from having her Mailibu and pineapple tipple.  Don't we all do things sometimes that we cannot see the consequences of, or worse still that we do see the consequence but do it anyway?  Thankfully there are a number of very kind, empathic people around who allow Sarah-Jane the opportunity of honing her flirting skills.  It is rare that Sarah-Jane would flirt with a boy or young man who had Down syndrome. There was an article in a very well known daily paper a few months ago that featured a young man, who I thought was very attractive, dressed very much in fashion and after reading the article had the same sort of goals, ideals and attitudes as Sarah-Jane, he also said that he didn't want a girlfriend who had Down syndrome.   When I showed Sarah-Jane his picture, she straight away said that she didn't like boys with Down syndrome, I also know of some other young men who feel this way, what can we do?

So to get back to where Sarah-Jane has learned her flirting skills from.  While out shopping and getting to grips with those ingenious self-service tills, love them or hate them, they are here to stay.  SJ had done her shopping and was waiting by the check-outs for me, I was in the queue watching, with some small amount of amusement, people trying to get to grips with these new fangled inventions, when one of the shoppers was about to go over the edge with frustration trying to find where her cashback money was going to be deposited.  Whoever designed this particular type of self service machine was not thinking clearly on the day as they are at the front of the machine at the bottom, underneath the scanner.  In fact as hard to find and hidden away from the eye as you can place something that dispenses cashback.  Maybe the idea of placing it there was to make it easier for people to steal, or for it to fall on the floor?  Who knows what inventors think when they design things.  Anyhow I stepped in full of knowledge that comes from making the same mistake, more than once, I would not have made a very good Pavlov's dog, it takes a much larger number of times for to get it right!  Oh yeah!  So I stepped in and showed the lady where her money was, agreeing with her that yes "What a stupid place to put the cashback dispenser" when a second too late an assistant stepped up, jokingly accused me of putting him out of a job, we had a quick banter, note banter and that was it.

Sarah-Jane watching at the sidelines, loudly proclaimed I was flirting with him?  He was under thirty, possibly under twenty-five, okay, there is no age barrier to flirting, but he was blonde and pale and not my type.  SJ has also accused me of flirting with the police, when I have been pulled over for speeding, I had a bad year a few years ago, I still got fined so clearly not flirting very well, flirting with people at the checkout, gas men, post men in fact any male that I converse with.  I don't in my opinion do this.  I know I am single and without ties but there is a reason for that, I like being this way.  I am not in any shape or form unhappy about my status as a single person, nor do I waste hours, weeks, months preening myself to attract a mate......I am possibly the very epitome of  an Anti-Liz Jones, in as much as, the most you will see me getting snazzed up in is a new pair of eight quid Primark jeans, they fit great actually and make my bum look smaller, if you want to know.  So if you do see me with a man holding my hand, (it happened recently, it was part of an apology) or being pecked on the cheek by some male, this happens quite often, not sure I am looking forward to New Year, or engaging in conversation with a total stranger, having a laugh, looking as if I am enjoying myself in their company, getting a bit tiddly, it is because I would be doing that if they were female too!  It is not because I am flirting.  It just so happens that I am engaging in social activity with the male of the species.  It is allowed isn't it?


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